When it comes time to put out the witches and the goblins, many parents get excited. Sure, some parents get a bit frustrated with all the things they have to do, but they are the ones that have not figured it out yet. Halloween is the time to get a little bit of revenge. Not the hateful type of revenge of course…the kind that makes people laugh…..
Really it’s the kind that makes us parents laugh. The kids might not find it so funny if they knew we had this secret “alliance” of sorts.
So, here is the secret that they can’t ever know…
Halloween is really all about us parents. Not the kids!
Don’t believe me? Here are pieces of evidence that prove what I say is true:
We Steal Our Kids Candy
I am here and boldly admitting that my children have no idea what Mr. Goodbar tastes like. For years I have been stealing every last juicy, krispy, chocolatey morsel in the yellow wrappers for my very own. Never has the taste of peanuts and chocolate passed their lips and I dare say it never will as long as I have a mouth and they are collecting my candy every October 31st.
The worst part is that I try to act as though I am taking that chocolate bullet for them.
What do you steal? Don’t say nothing or the witches will come for you.
We Scare Our Kids At Every Turn
Can you imagine what must run through our kid’s heads every year when this time comes along. We guard them and protect them at all costs, right? We never attempt to spook them at all because that would be….well…mean. Yeah, right! You can’t tell me you haven’t gone into a store to pick out their costume and used some prop or mask to scare them.
Tell the truth…Do you ever scare your children on Halloween?
We Have Them Wear Costumes…For Us
I know in my parenting life I have had my kids wear costumes that made them look ridiculous for my own amusement. Trips to the costume shop are really for that purpose, anyway. Whether they pick out what they want or not is always secondary to getting candy for them, so I know I can get away with dressing them like a dancing space monkey if I want to.
That is a special kind of mom power.
We Use Trick Or Treating as Blackmail
Tell me something moms and dads….when do you have more power than at Halloween? Next to Christmas, you will never be as powerful as you are in the weeks leading up to Halloween.
Those kids must not want to go out for Halloween. (Like I would give up my shots at multiple Mr. Goodbars…)
Didn’t wash your ears?
I didn’t know you didn’t want candy this year!
You get the picture. We use Halloween as leverage like no other day besides Christmas Eve. The reason?
We have the power of sugar behind our threats.
Tell me you haven’t done it and I might look at you with squinty eyes.
Halloween is all about us parents. Sure.. the kids get candy and run around with their friends in silly costumes. Sure.. they have their share of sugar laden teeth rot. In fact, most kids will tell you that Halloween night is one of their favorite nights of the year….
That, my friends, is the perfect cover.
Tell the truth now…
What are you guys doing for Halloween this year?