Read the latest update HERE
If you’ve read my blog, you know that my oldest (who will be in 8 in 2 months!) is in both speech and occupational therapy at both a private facility and through the school via an IEP. To be honest, I hope this all makes sense and comes out clearly because I didn’t sleep last night.
*deep breath*
On Tuesday, 2/26, the “mobile dentist” (you know, goes around school to school and performs exams, cleanings, even xrays and fillings) was visiting for their second day at my son’s school. I didn’t know this was going on – but in order to be seen by them, a parent has to give consent and also fill out medical history. So it shouldn’t concern me, I never did those things. Remember that. No consent form was filled out by me or my husband.
On Tuesday, 2/26, my son came home with a note from his speech therapist – attached to it was the consent form. The note asked if I would consider allowing the mobile dentist to see my son. The speech therapist, in her note, expressed her concerns over his bite and jaw alignment and that she believes they are affecting his conversational speech.
I threw the note away, along with the consent form. No, I did not want my son seeing a “mobile dentist”, someone who would more than likely look at him and say, “Take him to a specialist.”. I wrote a note back to her, on 2/28 (two days after receiving HER note and the consent form) explaining my reasoning for marking “NO” on the consent form. I was uncomfortable with not being present, and I would make our own dental appointment and bring the concern up myself. That way, if further care was needed, we could hopefully continue with this particular dentist, and not be referred all over the place.
As I was putting the note and the now signed consent form (again, marked no and dated 2/28/13), I noticed a missed call on my iPhone and a voice mail. It was the speech therapist. “Hey, I put a form for the mobile dentist, to look at his bite, in his red folder. Call me if you have any questions.” I deleted it, considering I JUST had written a note that she would get when she picked up my son for his therapy time. Thanks to Apple technology, the message was put into the “Deleted Messages” folder and is now back in my inbox as a listened to message. Thanks, Apple!
After taking him to school and returning home, I checked my email (as I always do). There was an email from the speech therapist, with a time stamp of roughly the same time she left the voice mail.
I put a form in _____ over night folder about the Mobile DDS—a free service. I would like adentist to look at his bite and help me determine what to do from a muscle standpoint. I believe this is what is affecting his conversational speech. We still have some time if you could look it over and consider signing. I am at ______ today if you have questions.
Basically, an email version of the voice mail. I replied back.
I sent a note with ______ to school that I wrote last night, and then missed your call this morning because it was breakfast time and I was getting the younger two kids ready.
You’ll read the note, but I am not giving my consent to the mobile dentist. I will schedule with our own dentist for a time that allows me to be there – I am not in any way comfortable with a dentist seeing him without my presence.
Mrs. Welbaum
She then informed me that I could pick a time from the days the “mobile dentist” would be there and I could be present. To which I replied that I have two children at home, and I doubt it would truly be convenient for me to load them up and bring them in and then give my son and the dentist 100% of my attention. Back and forth while I called around to dentists to get him scheduled. We’ll be scheduled in May to have a full exam (and a cleaning, if all goes well).
So I go about my day as usual and head up to the school to pick him up. On our walk home, we talked about his day. And something, somewhere in my mind made me ask about the dentist. I’m both glad that I did and wishing I never asked.
I asked if he saw the speech therapist today (this was Thursday, 2/28), and he said yes. I asked if they talked about dentists at all and he said no, but they did on Tuesday. What do you mean? She TOOK you to a dentist?
Yes.
Questions came flooding out, emotions went everywhere. I learned from my son, innocent to the whole thing, that the speech therapist came to his classroom and picked him up as normal and they went to her classroom. Then, they went to the dentist where the dentist, as he said, “Looked at my teeth.”, and then back to her room and back to the regular classroom.
I wanted answers, so I called the speech therapist and had to leave a message (which she has not yet returned, and I’ve since learned that she is out today, sick, 3/1/13.) I called the principal and spoke to him. He was nothing but praise for the therapist – she’s wonderful, she would never do anything to hurt a child, she only wants what’s best, blah blah blah.
So I called the coordinator of the “mobile dentist”, who got in touch with the actual technician and hygienist who were at the school on Tuesday when this happened. The technician was asked to call me, and she did.
She explained her side of the story very well and very clear – the speech therapist came up to her and asked if she would look at a child real quick, she was concerned about his jaw alignment. The tech said she didn’t feel comfortable and told the therapist this, and told the therapist it would be better for the child to see a dentist, that she couldn’t diagnose anything. Then, all of a sudden, a little boy was in front of her and the therapist was telling her to just look. The tech said the therapist was pushy, almost demanding, that she look at this little boy (my child). She told me she felt uncomfortable, and that she even told the therapist that they didn’t have a consent form for this child.
That’s right – no consent form. Think back to what you’ve just read. This was on TUESDAY, the same day THE CONSENT FORM CAME HOME TO ME.
The tech said she was sorry, but the therapist put her on the spot, so she had my son open and close his mouth, but she did not touch him. She called the therapist “pushy”.
Now, I have a voice mail waiting for the speech therapist, so I can hear her side, but honestly? I don’t need to. This woman, this dental tech, was almost in TEARS on the phone explaining what happened. The coordinator? She’s MAD that the therapist basically USED them as her little convenient service – the service is meant for PARENTS, who may not have a regular dentist and need their child to be seen in a semi-comfortable and convenient way.
So, in a nutshell? The therapist took my son from his classroom like she normally does every Tuesday, took him to this “mobile dentist” WITHOUT MY CONSENT, had him examined (albeit a “limited” exam with no touching or tools), and THEN, AFTER THAT, sent the consent form home.
I have a copy of the consent form. When I signed it on 2/28, that little voice inside my head said to make a copy, and I did. I have the original in my possession, as well as her note from 2/26 (that I dug out of the trash, yes, mom on a mission).
The medical professional, who works with children every day, PRESSURED another medical professional into performing a MEDICAL PROCEDURE (and yes, even a “limited” exam is a procedure in my eyes!), WITH OUT PARENTAL CONSENT.
As of the posting of this, I have been in touch with the board of education and the principal. We are calling an IEP meeting to have only the speech services removed. I do not want this lady around my child, EVER. I don’t care if speech is considering his primary disability on the IEP, we have an outside (“private”) therapist who we have been with for years, and who will be informed of ALL of this at our next session. I do NOT want my child receiving speech services while in school, and this therapist is not allowed to pull my child from the classroom to examine, test, or do ANYTHING. I don’t even want her to fucking LOOK at him.
Yes, I went there. I am MAD.
I feel VIOLATED. My trust is BROKEN. I feel betrayed.
I sent my child to school on Tuesday, to a place that I thought he was safe and having fun at – and it turns out that someone, a PROFESSIONAL, with out my knowledge or consent, did something for her benefit. She had him examined so she would know to proceed with therapy. She took him to a “dentist” and THEN, afterward, sent me the consent form and called AND emailed to remind me about it.
Did she KNOW that what she did was wrong?
To be honest, I didn’t sleep last night. I drained my iPhone battery completely by researching IEP laws, parental consent, and debating with myself. Should we pull him from the school completely? The principal DID have nothing but praise for her and in a way, was denying that she would do anything without a consent form. It’s not necessarily an IEP issue, it’s a policies and procedures issue that goes school-wide. Should I pull him? Should I home school? Online school through one of those accredited k-12 programs?
The coordinator of the “mobile dentist” said that she would be talking with staff members to inform that teachers and therapist are NOT allowed to just bring in students to be seen on a whim. Students need an appointment, and the “mobile dentist” staff will be the ones to get them from class.
I just… I don’t know. All of the emotions in a short period of time yesterday – anger, fear, worry, confusion, betrayal, violation, disgust – I didn’t know and I still don’t know how to process it all. The therapist had NO RIGHT to do what she did and then back pedal and get the consent form signed by me. No luck there since I marked “no”.
What am I supposed to do? Am I doing the right thing? Am I over-reacting?
I want to give a little update. The whole bit about pulling him from school – we are not following through with that. That was one of the many thoughts that I had yesterday while this was all going down. Pulling the speech services from his IEP WILL be happening though. I have not been satisfied with the level of communication (pretty much none) this school year, and would prefer to continue our services with just our private therapist. Guys, I work from home pretty much full-time with 2 kids under the age of 2, I don’t have time to home school! I don’t even know where to begin! He loves school, he loves his friends, I won’t do that to him.
Read the latest update HERE