Relationships can make us feel like we’re on top of the world, but they can also have an incredibly negative impact on our wellbeing. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you may be wonderfully happy, but what would happen if your situation changed and harmony turned to harm? If you’re worried about your relationship, it can be difficult to determine what’s normal and what’s not in your little bubble. Here are some signs that your relationship may not be quite as healthy as you thought.
You can’t be yourself
When you’re in a relationship with somebody, you shouldn’t have to put on an act or modify your behavior to meet their expectations. If you click with somebody and you really get on, you should be able to be yourself. You shouldn’t be worried about wearing makeup all the time or holding back on what you want to say in case it doesn’t fit in with your partner thinks. You shouldn’t feel apprehensive if there’s silence when you’re together, and you shouldn’t be anxious about seeing them. There’s a difference between having butterflies because you’re excited and feeling uneasy. If you can’t be yourself and you feel like you’re an edited version of yourself whenever you’re with your partner, this probably means that you’re not right for each other.
You feel like you’re always under the microscope
Does your partner ask you questions all the time? Do you feel like you get interrogated on a daily basis? Do they check your phone or ask you what you’re up to when you’re on social media, or you’re sending emails or texts? It’s natural to be inquisitive, for example, asking how work was or if your partner had a good weekend away with their friends, but nobody should feel like they’re facing a detective following up on a lead every time they walk through the door. If you feel like your behavior is always under the microscope, this could indicate that your partner doesn’t trust you. If you are sick of being questioned all the time, speak to your partner and be honest about how you feel. Sometimes, this kind of behavior can stem from negative experiences in the past or a lack of self-confidence and insecurity. Your partner may not even realize that their behavior is making you feel on edge, so talk openly, and, hopefully, the situation will improve.
You argue all the time
It’s normal for couples to have disagreements, but if you argue all the time, this isn’t going to make either of you happy. Rowing can be draining and exhausting, and you may get to the point when you can no longer tolerate being at loggerheads with each other. If you argue about the same things over and over again, sit down and thrash it out. If you can’t find a solution and move forward, you may be better off apart.
Discussions get physical, and you fear for your safety
Arguments can be scary enough, but if things get physical, you may find yourself in a very difficult situation. If you’re on the end of a physical attack, there may be injuries to deal with, but you’re also likely to experience emotional scarring. If you’re being assaulted, you may also find that your natural reaction is to defend yourself. If you’ve hurt your other half, they may feel like they have the right to take legal action against you and you may face criminal charges. If this scenario sounds familiar, it’s wise to seek legal advice, and reading this law firm’s blog may prove useful. Physical and mental abuse can have wide-ranging, long-lasting consequences for both parties, and if your relationship has reached this stage, it is probably bests that you agree to go your separate ways. Nobody should have to feel scared either by their partner’s aggression or by their own potential to be violent if their buttons are pushed.
The troughs outweigh the peaks
Relationships have a profound impact on our happiness, our mental health and our outlook on life. Positive relationships can build us up and make us feel incredible, but negative associations can leave us feeling rock bottom. It’s very common for couples to go through tough times, but the peaks should always outweigh the troughs. If you’ve got to the stage where you’re unhappy most of the time and it’s rare for you to be getting on well with your other half, it may be time to think about the future. Do you really want to spend your life with a person who only makes you feel content and confident 10 percent of the time? Life is short, and you don’t have to settle for something that isn’t right for you. Think carefully about what you want to achieve in your lifetime, and don’t underestimate your worth. Everybody deserves a shot at happiness.
You feel like you’re not good enough
In a relationship, you should be equals. There’s nothing wrong with feeling like you’ve struck gold and you’ve got a real gem, but you shouldn’t doubt that you are worthy of your other half’s affections. If you feel like you’re not good enough, this may contribute to disagreements if your other half is actively trying to build your confidence, or it may indicate that your partner isn’t treating you right. Make sure you choose to spend your time with people who make you feel safe, secure, happy and confident. You shouldn’t ever feel like there’s no way out if somebody is putting you down or making you feel like you’re lucky to have them. If you’re subjected to comments and remarks that affect your self-esteem, this is a form of bullying.
Relationships can be very complex, and sometimes, you can be in an unhealthy union without even realizing. It’s normal to fall out from time to time, but if you spot these signs, think carefully about whether you should be together and if you’d be happier, more confident and more stable if you weren’t together. It can be hard to cut ties, but sometimes, it’s for the best.