One of the biggest hurdles in life is when you see your child growing up and becoming their own person. But as we all know, when we’re trying to find out who we are, we have to try specific approaches out for size. You may have spent a long time strengthening your family bond and focusing on quality time but as your children grow from toddlers to teenagers, they feel they’ve got to plow their own path. And this could mean that they end up going off the rails. And when we see this start to happen, we, the parents, feel it the most. But what are the ways that we can help our children in this situation?
Choose The Punishment To Fit The Crime
When our children go to extremes, we have got to remember that they could very well be doing this because they don’t know how to express themselves. For a lot of children, punishment is the key deterrent to put them back on track. Others may feel that this is the start of a slippery slope. From your perspective, consulting any lawyers like Rose Legal Services, especially when your child has done something so extreme, could be enough to put the fear of God into them that they’d never act out of line again. But when our children have gone off the rails, and it’s our responsibility to punish them rather than a legal entity, we can try to withhold things or give them punitive measures, but they will take this as a threat and will likely defy you. The critical thing to remember is if you choose to punish them, you have to make them see why you have given that punishment.
The Reward System
No doubt it’s something that you tried when your children were toddlers. If they were well behaved, they could have a piece of candy. But as they get older, they could be smart enough to see through your bribery. If you promised something like a car or a special celebration for your child to stay on the right track, they may only comply in order to get the reward. The important thing to remember is that if you want them to adhere to your values they have to respect the limits you set, but we, as parents, have to make it a part of who they are.
The Long-Term ApproachWe have to remember that they are young and they are rebelling to prove something. But when we impose boundaries that they perceive as punishment, this will have an adverse effect. We have got to remember that our children need us and the limits that we set, they will perceive as us telling them they can’t do things. Opening up a dialogue sounds straight-forward, but it’s the best way for you both to understand each other and for you to change them. We’ve got to remember that when they are trying to assert themselves, they still need us. Our children want to have a strong relationship with us, but once we start to drop the pretenses, we may get to the core of why they are doing this.