Beautiful Okinawa, Japan taken by Kyle Nickels
I’m trying really hard to immerse myself in that photo, and imagine the breeze and the crashing waves. I imagine the smell of flowers, ocean water, and just air. It’s hard to do when it’s cloudy and gray in Ohio, but it’s helping with the worry.
Yesterday I had a third hCG beta blood draw, and the results came back good. My level was 4,269! Definitely doubled, nice and high, and according to the nurse, right on track for where I am.
Then I got a phone call right before the office closed, that I missed, and later that evening checked my voice mail. The nurse explained that the doctor had looked over the results, and wants to do a repeat test. A FOURTH?!
So now I sit here, it’s ten minutes until the office opens and I can call and figure out why and when. I slept horribly last night and I know it’s because of this.
On my previous post, I was asked what my beta numbers were…
12dpo: 96
14dpo: 208
21dpo: 4,269
I keep wondering, “Is the number high?”, “Is the number low?”, “Do they think there’s more then one?!”.
I’m down to 8 minutes until the office opens.
I’m so very worried that we may lose little appleseed (that’s about how big she is more then likely, an appleseed). I’m worried that we are headed down a long road of pain, emotionally and physically.
We had an amazing storm roll through last night. The lightning was incredible. I stood at our front door, the door wide open (yes, I’m crazy like that), and had a conversation with God. I asked him to keep this little one safe, and if there’s two, to please keep them both safe, both comfortable, and to grow. It was when I asked him “If there are two, please show me two lightning bolts.”. I watched. It was almost instantaneous, but in the sky, two bolts of lightning appeared that branched off to millions of tiny electrifying bolts. It was incredible. It was beautiful. It was scary.
I will update once more when I hear from the nurse with what’s going on. In the meantime, say a little prayer?
UPDATE
Just spoke with the nurse. She said that the doctor likes yesterday’s number, but he wants to see it double in 48 hours. I go back tomorrow morning for ANOTHER (the fourth!) blood draw. She said we are shooting for over 8000, and that over 6000 is when something is visible on an ultrasound.
I’m letting out a small sigh of relief. *whoosh* I’m still nervous though. This Dr owes me a pretty ultrasound picture, that’s for sure!